Why deciding to be single for a year, was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Yes I am single at the moment and yes I am happy being single. Isn’t it strange that when you tell people you’re single, they always feel bad for you and say things like “you will find someone in no time,” they never even think about the fact that you can actually want and choose to be single.

To be honest though I have to admit that I once was one of those people as well. In my opinion you had relationship kind of people and single kind of people, and I always identified myself as the relationship kind of person. I was that girl who had been in long-term relationships for as long as she could remember and had no clue how to be on her own. So when my latest relationship ran its course last year, I panicked. But instead of staying in my comfort zone, what in this case would mean, find a new boyfriend, I made a deal with myself to stay single for a longer period and I never predicted this outcome.

Okay, I’ll admit, it might have been difficult sometimes, when something bad happened and I didn’t have a boyfriend to run to, for example, but as time went on I started to like my decision more and more and these are the reasons why.

• Being single forced me to look at who I am and what I wanted to do with my life. I was so used to think about what “we” liked instead of what “I” liked. Also when it came to planning my future, it was nice to follow the plan I had always had for my life.
• I had more time for friends and family. I have to admit though that in my last relationship I still made a lot of time for my friends because I had neglected my friends before and didn’t want to make that same mistake again. But still it’s nice to have more time for friends and I’ve never had as many dinners, brunches and coffee dates with friends as I had this past year.
• It showed me that I could be totally independent. One of my main goals in life is to be independent, and I had to confess that I let this independence slip away. Throughout the years I had convinced myself that I always needed someone else to make me happy. Now I know that I am able to take care of myself and be happy without needing a boyfriend.

So looking back on my decision a year later, it was indeed one of the best decisions I’ve made so far. It’s not my plan to stay single forever but it’s nice to know that I don’t need to be with someone to feel happy or complete. So next time someone tells me they’re single, I am not going to feel sorry for them instead I’ll feel happy for them.

Love, Meryl